gone, disintegrated

okay, so it’s late, i’m not done with my night, and so i’m trying to write this pretty quickly.   forgive me for being sort of brief.

got up.  put on a cute, casual summer dress.  headed to work.  made a u-turn moments into my drive because my car was making a terrible banging noise in the front driver’s side wheel well and definitely needed to go to the shop.  drove there so cautiously, as i feared the whole wheel might just fall off.  turns out a rubber piece between the stabilizer bar and the bracket wore away or something.  i rented a car (seabring), drove to work, and went back for my car in the afternoon.  it works now.

work was crazy today.  i spent my entire day working on an event guide for a conference we’re putting on in october that needs to go to press a week ago.  it was a lot more challenging and time-consuming than anyone anticipated.  so other than when i was dealing with the car, i was working away until about 9:30, when i finally finished and headed for home.

i’ve been packing since then.  i think i’m in good shape now, though, which is awesome.  so i’m going to go finish reading my book so i can mail it to the next person tomorrow.  then i’m going to crash.

tomorrow afternoon, i am headed to seattle for the long weekend.  i’ll be there until tuesday night and am not sure if i’ll have computer access.  i’m not bringing mine with me.  but computer or not, i’ll be busy having a blast exploring a new city with meg, kath, and mel.  there will be stories and photos as soon as i return.  hope you also have wonderful plans for the long weekend!

g’night. ;)

i’m already 30% more unpredictable

“do you break things when you get mad
eat a box of chocolate ’cause you’re feeling bad
do you paint your toes ’cause you bite your nails
and call up mama when all else fails
who are you when i’m not around
when the door is locked and the shades are down
do you listen to your music quietly
and when it feels just right are you thinking of me
i wanna know, i wanna know, i wanna know” — joe nichols “who are you when i’m not looking”

so it was an all-around decent wednesday, even if it was kind of weird, as well.

it started off really strange when i woke up from the second alarm in a really vivid dream.  i spent my shower sorting it all out mentally — what’s real and what was a dream.  but anyway, i actually managed to get myself out the door on time this morning, so that’s excellent.

work was okay today.  i was less than 100% motivated, but i pulled through and got some stuff done.  it was a bit of a weird day because marke was freaking out about something and that meant catering to him a bit and making sure he was okay.  but we all made it through the day, including a surprisingly good lunch at wahoo’s.  left a little later than 5 today, but that’s okay.

then it was straight to the gym.  as i was nearly there, i noticed my outside temp gauge said it was 94 out.  i didn’t believe it and didn’t really notice it was that warm when i’d been out at lunch or walking to my car.  but when i got out of the car at the y, it was definitely that hot.  and that was 7pm.  so it’s really hot here, kid!  hot!  but you know, i love summer, so it’s okay.  i have the apartment all opened up and the ceiling fan in the dining room going and so i’m good. :)

anyway, after a good workout, i took care of some stuff around the apartment.  i did dishes and laundry (at least enough so that i can pack a suitcase tomorrow night) and cleaned up so the apartment is all tidy.  i like packing when things are neat, and i like leaving the place neat when i’m out of town.

and then there was a little of me enjoying myself tonight. :)  i read some more and then i enjoyed a little tv.  currently, i’m loving “hard knocks” (on hbo about the chiefs), though this is kind of a depressing episodes because a lot of guys are getting cut.  anyway, it’s this, probably a little more reading, and then bed.

another busy day awaits.  g’night. ;)

i’m on his side, but i’ll take the second serve

“do you pour a little something on the rocks
slide down the hallway in your socks
when you undress do you leave a path
then sink to your nose in a bubble bath
my, oh my, you’re so good looking
hold yourself together like a pair of bookends
but i’ve not tasted all your cooking
who are you when i’m not looking
i wanna know, i wanna know, i wanna know” — joe nichols “who are you when i’m not looking”

i never meant to be up this late tonight.  but i will say that i’m actually ready for bed right now, and normally when i write i’m not at all ready.  tonight, i’m tucking in immediately after i write this.  i think i’m digressing from what i mean to write about.  it’s been a pretty good tuesday, i got stuff done, and i’m in a good mood. :)  how was your day?

after yet another morning feeling completely incapable of dressing myself, i managed to pick out jeans, a tank (well two, layered), and dressy sandals.  exotic, i know. ;)  anyway, i made it to work only a few minutes late.  anyway, work.  there was plenty of that today, but i didn’t mind too much.  i mostly worked on the smaller items on my list and finishing and printing the newsletter we do for st. jude’s.  and i managed to get enough things wrapped up by about 4:30 so that i could have a really funny chat with brian and chris about naming kids (who’s last name do they get when the parental situation is complicated?) before taking off at 5.  oh, and that’s even with a nice lunch out at scpc with them factored in to my time.  anyway, it was a pretty good day around there. :)

then i headed straight home.  my boyfriend andy roddick was playing his opening round match at the u.s. open (of tennis, in case you have no idea who/what i’m talking about) at around 5:30, so i wanted to get home and enjoy that tonight.  and i am so so so so glad i did!  it was an awesome match in that it was a little bit close, i always knew andy would win, and him and justin gimelstob (his opponent and close friend) were so funny!  i loved watching them interact with each other, especially when they talked to the ref who wanted to penalize gimelstob for pausing before serving because the crowd erupted in applause when a bunch of members of the u.s. military got up to leave.  the whole thing was awesome to watch.  and then the post-game interviews were great because gimelstob is retiring and will become a commentator and therefore took the mic and interviewed andy, who then proclaimed he was boring and decided to take the mic from justin and interview him.  awesome. :)  and now you’re bored because you don’t care about tennis so i will move on… ;)

i spent a good chunk of time working on stuff for bobby tonight, as well.  we’re working on two new shirt designs right now (that’ll bring our total to 5), and i was focusing on getting a really solid draft of one done tonight.  so that went really well, and i love how it’s turning out.  rad!

and then i read for a couple hours because i need to pass on this book to another person at the end of the month per wednesday’s instructions.  i made some serious progress on that tonight, and i’m really enjoying the book.  the highlight from the (huge) section i read tonight was about a fundamental difference between christianity and buddhism and hinduism regarding passion and desire.  anyway, i’ll keep that for another discussion another day, but i found it particularly enjoyable to read about because i’ve always enjoyed reading about the eastern religions and at one time thought i should become a buddhist.  so yeah, it was a good way to spend an evening.

and now i’m here and ready for bed.  should be another busy day tomorrow between my actual job, working on bobby’s lusk stuff some more, finishing that book, and doing laundry so i can pack for seattle.  wow.  i’m kind of already tired. ;)  but anyway, i’m off for tonight.   g’night. ;)

he probably even knows two more

“i’ll miss you when i breathe
until you’re back here, back here with me” — meg allison “i’m with you”

it really, really felt like monday today.  i was kind of dragging my feet, i felt sleepy, and i definitely didn’t accomplish enough.  but i survived and i’m just about to crash.  i do have a few minutes for you first, though. :)

i had issues dressing myself this morning.  sometimes i swear it’s impossible to choose anything.  but anyway, i managed to find something and head out the door only 5 minutes late and still with wet hair.

work.  well, i really didn’t get enough done there today, but i accomplished what absolutely had to be done.  so at least there was that.  and there was a really good lunch at costco with marke and chris.  and i left on time, which hasn’t happened in ages!  woot!

so i headed for the gym, where i had a workout harder than i really had planned because the elliptical was broken, couldn’t take my pulse, and stayed on the hard level it started on instead of adjusting to me.  i didn’t realize it until like 20 minutes in when i was sweating my butt off.  but i survived anyway, so that was good.

then i came home, caught up with kath before she heads to portland tomorrow (before meeting me and the rest of the girls in seattle on friday), and watched some tv.  that’s about it.  boring.  oh!  and i really, thoroughly enjoyed “the hills” tonight.  that show is awesome and also featured one of my favorite places: malibu.  love it!  and then!  tonight’s mtv featured another place i quite enjoy: san clemente.  “life of ryan” (a new show following ryan sheckler, a pro skater) takes place in his hometown, san clemente.  he ate at the wahoo’s i frequent twice in the episode.  and he drove down the street i work on.  it’s weird and kind of awesome! :)  i’m totally going to keep watching.

anyway, i need to crash.  enough about my boring, tv-watching life. ;)  though you know it’s going to continue tomorrow.  haha!

g’night. ;)

the flirt, the diva, or the sweetheart?

“i understand and i’ll give it time
i’ll pray every night for some sort of sign
the truth is i know you might go back home
but i won’t let go, no, i won’t let go
and if you wonder where i am and what’s been running through my mind
if you want to know just how i’ve been or how i’m killing time
in every day, in every way, in everything i do
i’m with you, i’m with you, i’m with you, i’m with you” — meg allison “i’m with you”

ah, sunday.  today seemed more like a wintry sunday than an august one, but that’s okay.  i survived. :)

so i was abruptly woken up this morning by what i think was the sound of thunder.  it was very loud!  loud enough to wake me, and i was very asleep.  and the thunder continued through a good part of my morning.  crazy!  i guess we had thunderstorms as part of hurricane remnants.  i only got a few drops of rain, but i got lots of clouds, humidity, and thunder.  i thought this was southern california!  what’s with the summer storm?

anyway, i didn’t do a whole lot today.  trying to take it easy because i have lots of things planned in the near future and i need the rest.  so i hung out and read some and really did nothing.

i did get dressed at one point to go to old navy and the shoe store next door (famous footwear, perhaps?  i can’t remember).  really, i was looking for jeans, and i actually found some good ones.  so that was a good little outing. :)

and tonight’s been surprisingly good.  i worked out here and then got cleaned up and had dinner.  i watched “entourage” “with” marke (we both started our recorded versions at the same time and chatted online about it).  that was fun!  and now i’m just watching a little more tv before i tuck in.

that’s about it for me.  should be another busy week, but there’s lots of good stuff to look forward to.  g’night. ;)

or was it all a dream

“by now i know i outta act like you don’t love me
but i’m just sitting out here watching airplanes
take off and fly
i’m just sitting out here watching airplanes
take off and fly
trying to figure out which one you might be on
and why you don’t love me anymore” — gary allan “watching airplanes”

i’m trying to catch up with myself this weekend.  am i’m doing alright so far. :)

so i crashed last night and didn’t wake up until nearly noon today.  i have no idea when i last slept that late, but it was so great!  i definitely needed the sleep.  and even once i did get up today, i really didn’t do a whole lot.  i watched a little volleyball on tv, had some lunch, and just hung around.

the bulk of my day was spent reading my seattle guidebooks and taking notes and doing planning and all sorts of things like that.  it actually look me way, way longer than i thought it would, but that’s okay.  i’m more excited than ever to be going to seattle on friday.  i created a loose sort of schedule for us so we can see some rad stuff.  and i made notecards with various places to eat on them so we can choose places when we’re hungry (and so i don’t have to carry around guidebooks all the time).  i even emailed all the girls (kath, meg, and mel) with all our info so we’re totally set to go.  it’s going to be great!  now it’s just a matter of surviving the week of work between now and our trip. ;)

i also took a little time this evening to go “outside.”  i went out on the deck and swept it off (it was covered in eucalyptus leaves) and hosed it down.  it is much more suitable for sitting now. :)  the fact that i just wrote about that should be a sign to you about how little i actually did today. :)

okay, so i should just go to bed now.  i have… pretty much nothing planned for tomorrow, as well.  delightful!   g’night. ;)

i don’t understand what you are saying

“i would’ve lied, could’ve cried, should’ve tried harder
done anything to make you stay
i wonder what you’d do if you looked out your window
saw me running down the runway just like i was crazy
that fence is too high, so am i
so i’m just sitting out here watching airplanes
take off and fly
trying to figure out which one you might be on
and why you don’t love me anymore” — gary allan “watching airplanes”

damn. so many things feel like they just didn’t go right today that i kind of feel like i might have been better off if i’d turned off that alarm at 7:45 and went straight back to sleep. but i didn’t, so here’s a recap of today, in all its madness.

got up. went to work. ended up kind of racing a saleen mustang on my way there and definitely won. had a donut for breakfast because jason brought them in. it wasn’t that good but i knew he was bringing breakfast today so i didn’t have anything before i left the apartment. and there was no milk. donuts and water just don’t go together quite right. this turned out to be a theme today. anyway, work. it was alright. i got some stuff done and really wore myself out by about 3. i was having problems seeing the monitor anymore. at least there was that lunch at charo chicken (pretty good!) and then me nudging the tire of a truck as i tried to u-turn into a parking space back at the office. no damage but not good form either, especially with two passengers. worked until nearly 5 when i bailed. glad the workday was over.

headed over to the bookstore and chatted with mel on the way, which was actually good. :) we’re both so stoked about the fact that we’ll be in seattle in exactly a week! in fact, this weekend’s big plans revolve around me making a loose itinerary for us and making sure we all have all the things we need. i’m a tiny bit neurotic when it comes to traveling, and i think it comes through more when i feel like i’m responsible for the group and i’m traveling with people i haven’t traveled with too much (especially as a grown-up), even though we’ve all known each other since we were 5. anyway, after talking to mel, i browsed the store for a couple hours, which was actually really fun. i even came home with a book that i don’t know why i haven’t yet read, “love in the time of cholera.” it’s going to be pretty high on the stack. i just need to finish “soul cravings” before i leave for seattle. anyway, love the bookstore.

got home and ordered a pizza online from papa john’s, one of my faves as far as things like that go. i never got my email confirmation so i wasn’t sure if they were coming. they did and they brought a 2-liter of coke instead of diet, which was very sad for me, especially since it was kind of overpriced (i just have no drinks here and it was convenient to have it delivered with my dinner). well, i was so not excited to be drinking water with my pizza, much as i didn’t want it with my donut this morning. oh, well. at least the pizza was awesome. :) and i sent in a complaint to papa john’s.

then i attempted to bake chocolate molten cakes because i saw a recipe in a book in barnes & noble that was to make only 3-4. it looked simple, so i just memorized it when i was in the store. well, they turned out terribly because i used large ramekins and made only 2 and they baked too long at too low a temperature so they just baked all the way through. not good. and then i picked one up to turn it over onto a plate to try it and i dropped and spilled all over the kitchen floor. and the other one, like i said, didn’t turn out well. i need to try them again later but tonight i was just too tired and discouraged. so anyway, i’ve been reading magazines and hanging out. i even chatted with my parents briefly.

i think it’s time for me to go to bed. here’s to a great weekend. g’night. ;)

director of unredundancy

“like an old photograph
time can make a feeling fade
but the memory of a first love
never fades away
i had a barbecue stain on my white t-shirt
she was killing me in that miniskirt
skippin’ rocks on the river by the railroad tracks
she had a suntan line and red lipstick
i worked so hard for that first kiss
a heart don’t forget, no, a heart don’t forget
i said a heart don’t forget something like that
oh, not something like that” — tim mcgraw “something like that”

well, it was a little bit of a crazy thursday.  it might have been the fact that i didn’t get to sleep last night until nearly 2, but it just felt all hectic and like everyone was really cranky.  i swear i don’t think it was just me being short-tempered due to my lack of sleep, though.  i think everyone’s a bit over-worked at the moment.  anyway, so work felt all crazy and i was trying to keep so many projects going that i don’t think i actually got enough done.  but i do what i can.  so anyway, i spent a long day at work, breaking only for a few minutes at lunchtime to pick up chinese and get a tank of gas.

i  closed down the office before 7 and headed out.  target was on my errands list as i was looking for the new joe nichols album and the $15 dresses advertised in their weekly ad.  i didn’t find any dresses, but i found the album, a new book, and a few other odds and ends.  i definitely could have gotten into more trouble than i did, though. ;)  and then i picked up milk at the grocery and headed home.

i’ve just been hanging out tonight reading and relaxing.  i needed to unwind from work, i think.  but i’m doing well now and am thinking i should continue reading and then crash soon.  so anyway, yeah, nothing too exciting for today, but i’m excited tomorrow’s friday!

g’night. ;)

what kind of gone

“sitting out here on the hood of this truck looking up
at a caramel colored sunset sky
checking my watch doing the math in my head
counting back words to when you said goodbye
well those runway lights are getting brighter
i’m just sitting out here watching airplanes
take off and fly
trying to figure out which one you might be on
and why you don’t love me anymore
right now im sitting out here watching airplanes” — gary allan “watching airplanes”

love love that song.  love. :)

it was a sleepy wednesday, especially the first half, but i pulled through and am in a good mood now. :)  i’m not even sure i want to go to bed soon, even though i’m actually really tired.  anyway, i’ll just get on with telling you about it…

it was a long morning.  or at least it felt that way.  i wasn’t getting ready fast enough.  and then i wasn’t getting any work done.  i needed a mental break, so marke and i went to starbucks so i could get a snack and he could get coffee beans for the office that weren’t sucky.  that was a great break!  and then back to the grind.  i felt like i was just spinning my wheels until about 4 when i got some traction and made some real progress before calling it a day around 6:30.  at least i eventually felt like things were getting done.  i have some more big stuff to take care of as i wrap up the week, but it’s also kind of exciting.  new, different projects are good.

after work, i headed for the gym because i really, really needed it, probably more than i even realized.  i was so not interested in going but i went anyway.  and the workout was rough.  but i survived and now i feel awesome!  woot!

so i came home and ended up talking to meg as i arrived here.  it was great to catch up with her.  it’d been too long, i think.  plus, we’re totally gearing up for seattle in 9(!) days.  and then i just hung around here until now.  honestly, i really just watched entirely too much tv. :)  i mean, there was enough on tonight to fully entertain me and it was great to just relax on the couch.  “the fashionista diaries,” “hard knocks,” “the real world,” and “newport harbor.”  that’s some awesome tv right there! ;)

and now all of a sudden it’s midnight(ish) and i guess that means i should head for my bed.  g’night. ;)

i’m with you

“and if you wonder where i am and what’s been running through my mind
if you want to know just how i’ve been or how i’m killing time
in every day, in every way, in everything i do
i’m with you, i’m with you” — meg allison “i’m with you”

okay, so i’m a little bit in love with meg allison’s new song.  listen.  seriously. :)

so it was a day that doesn’t seem like i should have enjoyed.  and yet i did.  that’s good news all the way around, i’d say.

so i got up too early (or as early as all other days i have to go to work), threw on a cute dress (love dresses that feel like t-shirts!), and headed off on yet another warm morning.

work was busy.  i mean, it didn’t feel as hectic as some days do, but i just have a long list of things to accomplish.  and i’m starting to really believe that i work best in the late morning and in the evening.  that’s when i actually accomplish things, it seems.  so anyway, i worked all day long and was most productive then.  which means i ended up being totally on a roll when 5 rolled around, so i stayed and continued to work through some projects.  and then all of a sudden it was 8:30.  i have no idea where the time went, but i also know that i made good progress.  i feel good about the day, even if i was at work for nearly 12 hours straight (i ordered lunch in).  at least i got to chat with kath for a few minutes while i was eating lunch at my desk!

after work, it was late so i headed home. i did a little workout here, worked on some more stuff for bobby (everything with him is going awesome and i think we’re close to having clothes in actual stores, which is totally insane!), and had a little dinner.  and now all of a sudden it’s way later than i realized.  i think i’ll tuck in with a book and then crash.

a couple more notes before i leave, though! :)  i booked a trip to go visit sarah in a few weeks, which should be a blast!  i’ll get to see her house now that’s it’s way more done than the last time (when i was helping her strip wallpaper and the house was still uninhabitable).  and i also have a plane ticket to maui for a trip with mom (and maybe dad if i beg enough).  woot!  yay for traveling so much that i’ll never see my apartment all fall!

okay, i’m off.  more tomorrow.  g’night. ;)